Almost the end…

Today is the penultimate class day of my master’s degree. Everyone says this, but I honestly didn’t think this day would ever arrive. Two years ago, it seemed as if this degree was going to be the hardest thing that I was ever going to do. Loss of friendships and ended relationships included, these two years have been the worst two years of my life. Luckily, I am walking away from this, for the most part, unscathed.

I dislike that my graduate experience is going to be marred by boy trouble. Without it, these past two years definitely would not have been as terrible. God is really putting me through a test to try and find the right person; first, the end of a terrible. 3 year relationship, then being used as a doormat, and then finally a short relationship with a really fantastic guy.

I learned a little something about myself from each relationship. By the last relationship, I finally learned that I don’t have to change myself for anyone and that someone will be attracted to me for who I am. I doubt you are reading this, but you know who you are. You liked me for me and for the first time, I didn’t have to compromise myself. You probably don’t realize what you’ve done and I just want to say thank you. You are truly a great person and I pray everyday that the Lord continues to bless you.

I’ve finally decided what I want to do with my life. I’ve gone back and forth trying to decide what I want to do with music. I love music so much and want to sing everything. I was going to go the church music route and study at Concordia Chicago in the fall, but I realized that I would miss performing. So, I decided that I will take the year off and work on repertoire. While at home, I will teach lessons and do some substitute teaching. During that time, I plan to apply for DMA programs. That’s right, folks…Martha plans on getting her doctorate. So far, the schools that I will be looking into are: the University of Michigan, University of Illinois, Indiana University, and Northwestern University. If I decided to apply to an early music performance program, then I will also add Yale to the list.

I’m not done singing and I want to perform for as long as I am able to. Apart from being in church, nothing else makes me happier than being on stage. I thank God every day for this talent that He has given me and I can’t wait to start this next journey in my life!

Oh and, Higher Things, if you ever need someone to sing, you know who to call!

Graduate Recital

My graduate recital is on Saturday! GAH!!! So excited and yet so nervous. Here is my incredibly awesome poster made by my awesome friend Billy Frazier, former visual communications major at my school. (shameless plug, but seriously, hire him!)

My recital program is: Ach, ich liebte from W.A. Mozart’s Der Entführung aus dem Serail, Claude Debussy’s Ariettes Oubliées song cycle, Ständchen and Waldseligkeit by Joseph Marx, Glückwunsch by Erich Korngold, BWV 209 Non sa che sia dolore by J.S. Bach (yeah, Bach!), and Three Songs on Poems of Edith Sitwell: Daphne, Through Gilded Trellises, and Old Sir Faulk by William Walton. It’s a varied program and is going to be awesome!

If you happen to be in Kirksville, you should most definitely come. If not, I will have a recording in about a month and would be happy to share!

 

Blessed Easter

Want to know why being a Lutheran is awesome? Singing this hymn. Yup.

1. Christ Jesus lay in death’s strong bands For our offenses given; But now at God’s right hand he stands And brings us life from heaven. Therefore let us joyful be And sing to God right thankfully Loud songs of alleluia! Alleluia!

2. No son of man could conquer death, Such ruin sin had wrought us. No innocence was found on earth, And therefore death had brought us Into bondage from of old And ever grew more strong and bold And held us as its captive. Alleluia!

3. Christ Jesus, God’s own Son, came down, His people to deliver; Destroying sin, He took the crown From death’s pale brow forever; Stripped of pow’r, no more it reigns; An empty form alone remains; Its sting is lost forever. Alleluia!

4. It was a strange and dreadful strife When life and death contended; The victory remained with life, The reign of death was ended. Holy Scripture plainly saith That death is swallowed up by death, Its sting is lost forever. Alleluia!

5. Here our true Paschal Lamb we see, Whom God so freely gave us; He died on the accursed tree-So strong His love-to save us. See, His blood now marks our door; Faith points to it; death passes o’er, And Satan cannot harm us. Alleluia!

6. So let us keep the festival To which the Lord invites us; Christ is Himself the joy of all, The sun that warms and lights us. Now His grace to us imparts Eternal sunshine to our hearts; The night of sin is ended. Alleluia!

7. Then let us feast this Easter Day On Christ, the bread of heaven; The Word of grace has purged away The old and evil leaven. Christ alone our souls will feed; He is our meat and drink indeed; Faith lives upon no other! Alleluia!

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

More Bach

My love for Bach grows daily. Good thing I’m applying to Yale’s early music program next year. (and many other schools as well) I will most definitely be getting my fill of Bach in the coming years. Performing St. John’s Passion during my junior year of undergrad has been the greatest experience of my life so far. I hope to one day perform it again, this time as the soprano soloist.

One of the beautiful chorales from St. John. Blessed Holy Week!

O help, Christ, O Son of God,
Through thy bitter passion,
That we, who thee ever serve,
May avoid all error,
May thy death and its true cause
Fruitfully consider,
For which, although poor and weak,
Thee our thanks we offer!

Mmm, Bach

Hurry up, Easter! I’m growing impatient. I want to sing this hymn!

Let’s all be friends

Lately I’ve been seeing many posts on Facebook about being nice to our fellow neighbors. “Can’t we treat anyone with respect?” they say. Others, “Why are we so mean to neighbors?” One friend made a long post saying that biblical teachings on love have predated running water, electricity, automobiles, and the like. He then asks, “Why have our abilities to kill each other improved so much more than our abilities to love each other? Has anyone ever stopped to think about how messed up this is?”

I’ve never really stopped to think about it, but I have the answer. It’s called: SIN, original and actual sin. The law tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Will we do it? Nope. Will we try? Yes. Will we fail? Miserably. Oh, law, you fickle thing you; showing us our sins and making us feel like crap. For clarification, I am not saying to make zero effort in being nice to people or helping out a friend in need. We have the Ten Commandments for a reason. This is what happens when we live by the law.

In light of the school shooting in Connecticut, we must remember that evil will always be present on earth. Where there are human beings, there will be sin. No amount of legislation will keep terrible things from happening: terrorists will continue to spread hatred, guns will  fall into the wrong hands.

“But…where is God in all of this? If he really loved us none of this would happen.”

I’m so happy you asked that question. This, ladies and gentlemen, is where the Theology of the Cross comes into play. He does love us, so much in fact that He sent His Son to carry the burden of us all to the cross to die for our sins. I don’t know about you, but that is love, man. Plain and simple. And where is God? He’s there, he’s always there. We have to deal with trials and tribulations to know that we, “cannot by our own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord, or come to Him,” and to be able to confess that we are, “poor, miserable sinners.”

Because God sent His Son, Jesus, to the cross to suffer and die for sins, we have inherited eternal life. Did we earn it? Absolutely not. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Maybe it’s just me, but those two verses should forever bring a tear to your eye; knowing that because someone loved us wretched sinners so much, we have been saved.

Theology of the Cross is knowing that we aren’t and will never be perfect. It is confessing our sins, through prayer and in church, and communing with the saints and all of the company of heaven, as we receive a foretaste of heaven.

What was supposed to be a short post has now turned into a long one, but one that is so needed. I always try to love my neighbor. However, I know that sometimes, I will say the wrong thing. Sometimes, I will treat someone very badly. I know that is part of my sinful nature. Instead of trying to look for something that we can do, we need to first be able to recognize that because of sin, there is absolutely nothing that we can do of ourselves. Our very best is to try, fail, repent, and try again.

On my soapbox…

Okay, so I don’t usually spout off on anything I see on the news. However, this Steubenville rape case has me annoyed, disgusted, and I just can’t take it anymore.

First, on the agenda, the rape itself. Rape is rape. When someone is not in control of themselves and can’t answer for themselves, it is rape. I don’t care if said person is known as the town whore or if they showed up at a party that night looking to get some action. Just because they maybe wanted to hook up with someone that night does not null and void rape. Yes, I know the girl is called by some “the town whore.” Yes, I know that she was underage and drunk. Giving her, “what she deserves because she’s the town whore” is not justifiable. Was she able to answer for herself? No. It was rape. Plain and simple.

Am I condoning underage drinking and drinking in excess? Absolutely not. I don’t care who you are, boy or girl, if you go to a party with your peers, you should not have to worry about potentially being taken advantage of if you were to have too much to drink. If the girl was indeed alone, she probably should have had someone there with her to take her home when she had too much. I don’t go to parties by myself. However, I’m not that girl and I can’t answer for her. Who knows what was on her mind that night and how much of the truth has been lost.

You need to be held accountable for your actions, you say? Those boys penetrated a girl without consent. (RAPE) They drug her body around by her wrists and ankles. They peed on her. They were charged with rape. Seems fair. Whether or not they deserve a harsher punishment is way more than what I want to get into right now.

Second, and my last thing, is the media coverage. I want to know if people are honestly shocked by the media coverage and what the main news outlets are saying. Frankly, I’m not. Now, you know why I very rarely watch the news. Now, you see what I see when I turn on the news. You’ve come to realize that your “glorified” news outlet really isn’t so great. Don’t get me wrong, I find things that I’ve heard from those stations appalling, to say the least, but I’m honestly not surprised. So, this is your chance everyone: call them out on it!

Alright, that’s enough out of me. Time for bed.